The pain i suffered in silence

I was 13 years old i suffered from bone tuberculosis cancer pus cells at my pelvis , i had 3 operation and i suffered alot it's breaks my heart whenever i think about my life i had been in complete bed rest for 2 years i think i will not live but i am alive My name is Raj Lakshmi, a 16years old ordinary girl who live in a small town in india, i was a playful happy living girl but my whole personality changed after a horrific situation that came in to my life 2 years ago , i break into million of pieces whenever i think about myself , the only word came to my mind is '' worthless '' it's always hurt me how i suffer this much , i always said to god that "please don't give me this much pain i cannot tolerate i am very weak please forgive me" i have never done anything wrong why i have to suffer please don't break my body , i always have sucidal thoughts in my mind whenever I see my parents i always want to cry that's they deserved a good child than me i was handicapped and they were with me everytime even a single second. I came to know in this world full of suffering only our parents will always be with us they are the real god who can do anything for their child . My dad is my real hero he always motivated me , always try to make me happy and my parents did very much for me. This page of my life teaches me alot of thing' s that nothing can break me without my permission it's tell me about who my real one's and who is the fake. It's also tells me about love yourself be hopefull. Even though i tear apart that time but now i am more stronger than any thing. i had cry more than i sleep, everytime i close my eyes one thing came to my mind my broken heart and my parents tear. I was lost in my own suffering.